three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
