Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
