yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
