Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
