i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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