just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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