Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
