he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
