i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
