the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
