Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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