Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow