I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom