Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.

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  (248): She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/c954
  Replies (12) Good night (2753) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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  (256): No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gby7
  Replies (25) Good night (9278) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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  (907): He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since http://tfl.nu/78cc
  Replies (2) Good night (2450) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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  (306): you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue". http://tfl.nu/bqgp
  Replies (6) Good night (2544) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.

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  (210): The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple. http://tfl.nu/ks4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1300) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.

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  (240): Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9wdm
  Replies (21) Good night (1171) Bad night (5009)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok

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  (315): Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok http://tfl.nu/1uoa
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months

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  (614): For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months http://tfl.nu/aakj
  Replies (9) Good night (322) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.

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  (623): One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID. http://tfl.nu/bopy
  Replies (2) Good night (1173) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.

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  (949): It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants. http://tfl.nu/9y1w
  Replies (5) Good night (328) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with

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  (609): this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with http://tfl.nu/msu7
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.

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  (703): I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance. http://tfl.nu/khcw
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.

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  (702): Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs. http://tfl.nu/8zsp
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!

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  (908): you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?! http://tfl.nu/kjl1
  Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (101)

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