it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...