dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that