They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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