Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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  (812): If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife http://tfl.nu/4wdu
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (957)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...

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  (402): who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar... http://tfl.nu/yz5c
  Replies (51) Good night (1222) Bad night (5607)
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  (916): View more from California

  I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex

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  (916): I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex http://tfl.nu/qjjk
  Replies (10) Good night (4955) Bad night (684)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?

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  (203): I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision? http://tfl.nu/h84p
  Replies (33) Good night (1339) Bad night (12617)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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  (801): He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied". http://tfl.nu/4up3
  Replies (12) Good night (2163) Bad night (3977)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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  (256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk
  Replies (8) Good night (3032) Bad night (1116)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory

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  (615): She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory http://tfl.nu/j2ic
  Replies (3) Good night (2903) Bad night (978)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"

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  (413): I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight" http://tfl.nu/ny0o
  Replies (4) Good night (1559) Bad night (772)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.

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  (518): It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up. http://tfl.nu/6w2h
  Replies (8) Good night (1255) Bad night (1702)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

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  (970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv
  Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (540)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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  (203): Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic. http://tfl.nu/uabe
  Replies (2) Good night (1208) Bad night (710)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No piss test, hell yeah

  (248): View more from Michigan

  FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.

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  (248): No piss test, hell yeah (248): FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS. http://tfl.nu/hck1
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (913)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder

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  (205): You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder http://tfl.nu/hpcq
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (440)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So there's that.

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  (724): Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself (724): So there's that. http://tfl.nu/rzby
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (374)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  THAT'S MY GIRL

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  (919): So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy. (336): THAT'S MY GIRL http://tfl.nu/glim
  Replies (1) Good night (1123) Bad night (342)

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