I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Come share oat with me in your robe