so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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