Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
