Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
