i barfeds in our rink
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
