Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
