He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
