3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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