is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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