I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
