pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
