The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
another moral hangover. fuck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
