So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize