Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No subtext here. People are naked.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
