Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Randomize
