yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
