Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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