I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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