oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
