so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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