i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn