Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
