Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

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(972): Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life? http://tfl.nu/jl0s

Replies (34) Good night (3322) Bad night (971)
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(240): View more from Maryland

9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

(301): View more from Maryland

it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

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(240): 9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook (301): it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly. http://tfl.nu/trii

Replies (14) Good night (699) Bad night (3431)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page

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(630): you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page http://tfl.nu/nscl

Replies (8) Good night (4459) Bad night (888)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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(304): I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough. http://tfl.nu/4w8d

Replies (11) Good night (1214) Bad night (3657)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.

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(573): Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life. http://tfl.nu/evuh

Replies (24) Good night (7376) Bad night (1156)
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(850): View more from Florida

how was your day?

(404): View more from Georgia

fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?

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(850): how was your day? (404): fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i? http://tfl.nu/0urf

Replies (21) Good night (9394) Bad night (996)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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(781): I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots. http://tfl.nu/2a1b

Replies (23) Good night (1052) Bad night (4184)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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(678): So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving http://tfl.nu/h9li

Replies (28) Good night (1016) Bad night (8097)
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(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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(239): When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up. http://tfl.nu/gf96

Replies (19) Good night (6202) Bad night (968)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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(610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz

Replies (26) Good night (6785) Bad night (1149)
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(512): View more from Texas

it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me

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(512): it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me http://tfl.nu/0mob

Replies (9) Good night (1135) Bad night (3102)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

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(660): I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night. http://tfl.nu/myre

Replies (3) Good night (3078) Bad night (1290)
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(415): View more from California

Feeling better?

(720): View more from Colorado

I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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(415): Feeling better? (720): I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day. http://tfl.nu/80q2

Replies (4) Good night (1603) Bad night (719)
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(912): View more from Georgia

It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.

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(912): It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time. http://tfl.nu/lxl4

Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (449)
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(206): View more from Washington

I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.

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(206): I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too. http://tfl.nu/htiy

Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (397)

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