i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
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He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.