if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we're making bets on your personal life
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.