that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.