Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.

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  (714): i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3dga
  Replies (12) Good night (711) Bad night (3679)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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  (218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0
  Replies (3) Good night (2844) Bad night (725)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Too much gin, very little bucket

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  (703): Too much gin, very little bucket http://tfl.nu/etvy
  Replies (14) Good night (1045) Bad night (3851)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

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  (202): I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out. http://tfl.nu/ga8t
  Replies (3) Good night (4944) Bad night (1073)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?

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  (517): hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive? http://tfl.nu/un6m
  Replies (9) Good night (4717) Bad night (1089)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.

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  (206): What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world. http://tfl.nu/0k4m
  Replies (11) Good night (1492) Bad night (611)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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  (573): She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex. http://tfl.nu/fa1q
  Replies (10) Good night (1372) Bad night (712)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.

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  (+44): I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no. http://tfl.nu/bvly
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (398)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Playing nyquil pong with a cat again

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  (931): Playing nyquil pong with a cat again http://tfl.nu/9ic0
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (578)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.

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  (720): Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate. http://tfl.nu/0wwt
  Replies (1) Good night (1080) Bad night (344)
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  (858): View more from California

  At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...

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  (858): At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death... http://tfl.nu/rvkt
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (602)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.

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  (423): My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more. http://tfl.nu/baeq
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (387)
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  (714): View more from California

  I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

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  (714): I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation http://tfl.nu/yqvf
  Replies (1) Good night (957) Bad night (340)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO

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  (717): also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO http://tfl.nu/0v8o
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (327)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.

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  (740): almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost. http://tfl.nu/dg9p
  Replies (2) Good night (221) Bad night (115)

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