I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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