I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
