it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
