why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
