so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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