allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
