marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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