I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
