Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
