Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
so much tequila, so little girl.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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