i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
