Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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