You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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