Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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