Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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