This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
