Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
