pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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