Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
