i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
