Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this hospital has no fireball
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
