she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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