Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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