I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
