his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize