Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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